Brace Your-Elf: Highway Mayhem in Colorado Springs!
Keeping Tabs Weekly, Summer 2019
Reprinted from the Colorado Springs Herald
Colorado Springs, CO—Two high school boys were arrested on I-25 Thursday evening for disorderly conduct and public nuisance after a dozen drivers called in reports that the boys were throwing “a little guy” off the overpass repeatedly. According to reports, the individual would “disappear” from sight before making contact with the moving vehicles on I-25 below.
The person the boys are accused of throwing from the overpass was described as short, under five feet tall, wearing a bodysuit and head cap. Numerous drivers reported the individual seemed to be laughing, and many described him as looking like “a deranged Christmas elf.”
“That little guy looked happy,” one driver reported. “I was staring right at him as he came down, and he had this Cheshire Cat grin on his face. And then, just like the cat, he vanished into thin air.”
A semi-truck driver added, “And he had a hammer, a big mallet, bigger than him, and he looked like he wanted to use it.”
Yet Colorado State Patrol found no indications that an actual person was thrown from the overpass. I-25 northbound was closed for six hours while CSP searched for injured individuals, mannequins, or any other evidence of someone or something being dropped onto the highway. Reports indicate they found no such evidence.
Officer Dan Brooks, a spokesperson for CSP, says that while no drivers were injured and no cars were reported damaged, they are treating the incidents seriously.
“We can’t have people being dropped onto highway traffic,” he said. “It’s disruptive and rude to both drivers and the person they keep dropping.”
He added that CSP would like to talk to the individual being tossed from the overpass and have asked him to come forward and identify himself. Despite numerous crank calls, CSP has not yet made contact with the little man.
This is not the first time one of the boys arrested has had a brush with the law. Colorado Springs Police confirm that they were called to a King Soopers grocery store earlier in the summer in a response to a report of a “crazy little man rearranging the pasta aisle.” While no damage resulted from the mischief, the arrest report indicated “a great deal of confusion. Most customers can’t tell rigatoni from cannelloni, and people were getting upset.” The boy who was arrested was alleged to have been “encouraging” the little man, though police did not locate the actual perpetrator.
“We think this teenager is responsible for coordinating other similar incidents,” a police spokesperson said at the time. “He uses the little guy to do his dirty work. They moved all the labels around on the bolts and screws at Home Depot two weeks ago, and we’re certain they are responsible for the sign tampering at Schmidt Brothers Ski Supplies in downtown Colorado Springs.”
That signage (the letters “Ask Us about Our New Rates!” were rearranged to read “Eat Snow! Rub Our Saurkrauts”) has since been removed.
