Winged Menace or Master Vintner?
Flying Napa Rebob Blamed—and Praised—for Near-Perfect Cabernet
Keeping Tabs Weekly, Winter 2025
NAPA VALLEY, CA—Residents near the sleepy Hollering Finch Vineyard insist they have finally identified the mysterious creature responsible for the most coveted wine release of 2025: a winged monkey-like cryptid known locally as the Napa Rebob.
And according to various whispered rumors, the creature’s… contribution may extend beyond inspiration.
The Sightings
For nearly a year, vineyard workers reported unsettling disturbances, including trellises shaking in still air, grapes mysteriously rearranged overnight, and a “soft leathery fluttering” at dusk. But a specific report set the rumors circulating when cellar hand Arturo Medina claimed he saw it directly: “Small, about the size of a terrier. Fur that I could smell—it was like toasted oak. And it had a hideous face, like a disappointed librarian. Wings—not bat wings and not bird wings—like umbrellas that forgot how to be umbrellas.”
He then added the detail that launched a thousand online arguments: “It watched the fermentation tanks. Not curious. Evaluating.”
The Vintage That Shouldn’t Exist
Last month the vineyard released a tiny batch—only 312 bottles—of a Cabernet Sauvignon labeled 2025 Acheron Cuvée, which wine critics expected to be nothing more than a novelty or a curiosity. Instead, they awarded scores normally reserved for century-old European estates:
- 99/100—Sommelier’s Ledger
- 100/100—Vinous Arcana
- “Suspiciously perfect”—American Fermentation Review
Tasting notes describe the wine as “black cherry, graphite, rain-cooled stone, and an unsettling emotional clarity.”
One reviewer reportedly called his ex-spouse to apologize after drinking it.
The Rumor No One Wants Printed (But Everyone Is Printing)
Local message boards allege the Rebob has been observed hovering above fermentation vats during late-night processing. And a former intern, speaking under condition of anonymity and a pseudonym (“Brad”), stated, “They had to install lids after it started… contributing.”
When asked to clarify, Brad only made a pouring motion and stared meaningfully.
Within days, the internet exploded with the phrase Rebob-conditioned wine. The vineyard denies everything.
The Label Nobody Noticed
The bottle’s name—Acheron Cuvée—puzzled literary enthusiasts until one University of Nevada folklore professor connected it to an obscure early concept draft of The Wizard of Oz. In early production notes, the Wicked Witch’s airborne creatures were briefly described as “Acherontic attendants”—servants of a classical underworld river—before the simpler “flying monkeys” was adopted.
The vineyard claims coincidence.
Fans are unconvinced.
Behavior of the Creature
Witnesses agree the Rebob is not hostile; instead it appears managerial.
According to unverified eyewitness reports, repeatedly observed behaviors include the creature inspecting grape clusters individually; removing substandard fruit; circling barrels during fermentation; and shrieking at temperature fluctuations. One enologist admitted that “every time we tried automation, something went wrong. When we let the night shifts alone: quality improved.”
Scientists React
Dr. Ellen Park, American Society for Unverified Fauna, stated, ““If real, this would be the first documented oenological cryptid: an organism exhibiting terroir preference.”
UC Davis declined to investigate after the lab assistant reportedly refused to enter the cellar following a “judgmental chittering incident.”
The Vineyard’s Official Statement
Owner Maribel Finch released a carefully worded response: “Our wine reflects dedication, patience, and respect for the natural ecosystem of Napa Valley. Any suggestion of external… additives… is imaginative.”
She then added, “However, we do not discourage the Rebob from visiting.”
Secondary Market Madness
The original price of Acheron Cuvée launched at a hefty $240. But it’s current auction value, however, has skyrocketed to just shy of $8,900 per bottle. One buyer reportedly purchased a bottle solely to “leave it open overnight and see if could draw the Rebob back, like a dog marking its territory.”
Whether the Rebob is a guardian spirit, an obsessive cellar master, or simply Napa Valley’s strangest sommelier, collectors agree on one thing: whatever’s in the bottle, it leaves a finish that lingers… suspiciously high and oddly familiar. Experts recommend enjoying responsibly and perhaps not asking too many follow-up questions.