Birthday Party Takes the Horse by the Horn
Keeping Tabs Weekly, Fall, 2025
Reprinted from the Greek weekly publication Cappuccino.
Attica, Greece—A child’s party was the site of a chaotic and confusing disturbance that led to reports of the alleged presence of mythical creatures that some witnesses described as “hallucinogenic occurrences resulting from punch spiked with narcotics.”
Kifisia police, however, found no evidence of any illicit substances despite what is being called “an incident of mass delusional hysteria.”
Neighbors who called authorities claim that the ten-year-old daughter of Nikolaos Papadimitriou, a pharmaceutical representative overseeing clinical studies, had a birthday party that quickly got out of hand.
According to an anonymous resident in the exclusive upscale neighborhood, Nikolaos and his wife Maria “overindulge” their only child regularly, and “the girl gets the moon, if she wants it, but this year her parents went too far. For her birthday this year, they gave her a unicorn.”
The animal, first described by the ancient Greek physician Ctesias in the 5th century BC, has long been assumed to be a fanciful creation, but numerous residents of Dionysou Street confirm seeing one yesterday afternoon.
“Those girls, they were terrible,” one neighbor said. “They were riding it around like a pony. A pony! This magnificent creature, sought by royalty all across Europe and Asia, unable to be captured but by the purest of virginal souls, and they were trying to throw rings over its horn like a carnival game.”
Maria Papadimitriou, according to these same neighbors, seemed indifferent to the moral abuses the legendary equine, as she was observed simply reading a book the entire time the unicorn was put through its humiliating paces.
“The Mallas twins were reading, too,” the birthday girl, [NAME REDACTED], told the attending police sergeant. “They’re just jealous. That’s why they brought the other monsters.”
According to multiple witnesses, a winged horse called a pegasus and a large half-bull, half-man called a minotaur suddenly arrived at the residence, entering the garden as if from thin air to offer the children pegasus-back rides in the air and hide-and-seek with the minotaur. These new attendees were said to be very entertaining for the little girls, overly dismissive of the unicorn, and arrived without bringing gifts.
As quickly as the latter two non-existent creatures arrived, they, and the unicorn, disappeared before the police arrived in response to emergency calls.
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΗ ΑΣΤΥΝΟΜΙΑ
HELLENIC POLICE
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΑΣΤΥΝΟΜΙΚΟ ΤΜΗΜΑ / POLICE STATION:
Kifisia Police Department
ΑΝΑΦΟΡΑ ΣΥΜΒΑΝΤΟΣ / INCIDENT REPORT
Αριθμός Συμβάντος / Incident No.: 2025/00931
Ημερομηνία / Date: 22 / 06 / 2025
Ώρα / Time: 16 : 48
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΕΙΔΟΣ ΣΥΜΒΑΝΤΟΣ / TYPE OF INCIDENT
[ X ] Διατάραξη Κοινής Ειρήνης (Disturbance of the Peace)
[ X ] Διατάραξη Κοινής Ησυχίας (Quiet Hours Violation)
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΤΟΠΟΘΕΣΙΑ / LOCATION
25 Dionysou Street, Kifisia, Attica, Greece
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΑΙΤΙΑ ΚΛΗΣΗΣ / REASON FOR POLICE RESPONSE
Citizen complaint regarding excessive noise and disorder tied to non-existent creature.
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΣΤΟΙΧΕΙΑ ΥΠΕΥΘΥΝΟΥ ΠΡΟΣΩΠΟΥ / RESPONSIBLE PERSON
Ονοματεπώνυμο / Full Name: Alexandros Papadimitriou
Όνομα Πατρός / Father’s Name: Nikolaos
Ημερομηνία Γέννησης / Date of Birth: 14 / 03 / 1979
Αρ. Ταυτότητας / ID No.: ΑΖ458921
Διεύθυνση / Address: 25 Dionysou Street, Kifisia, Attica, Greece
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΠΕΡΙΓΡΑΦΗ ΣΥΜΒΑΝΤΟΣ / DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT
At approximately 16:40 hours, police officers responded to a complaint of disturbance at the above address. Upon arrival, an outdoor children’s birthday celebration was observed in the garden of the residence. No mythical creatures were noted.
The event included amplified music, multiple guests, and, according to neighbors on three sides of the residence, the presence of a full-grown horse with a horn—a unicorn—used for recreational riding by minors. During the event, the animal became agitated and allegedly speared a unicorn-shaped piñata before racing rapidly around the yard, knocking over tables and unicorn-themed decorations, causing loud noise and disturbance to neighboring residences.
No injuries were reported at the time of police arrival.
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΕΝΕΡΓΕΙΕΣ ΑΣΤΥΝΟΜΙΑΣ / POLICE ACTIONS
[ X ] Ταυτοποίηση υπευθύνου προσώπου
(Identification of responsible adult)
[ X ] Προφορική σύσταση
(Verbal warning issued)
[ X ] Οδηγίες για άμεση απομάκρυνση ή περιορισμό ζώου
(Instructions to remove or secure animal; unclear if animal was present)
[ X ] Οδηγίες για μείωση θορύβου και αποκατάσταση τάξης
(Instructions to reduce noise)
[ ] Βεβαίωση παράβασης / Administrative fine
[ ] Προσαγωγή / Detention
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΑΠΟΤΕΛΕΣΜΑ / OUTCOME
The responsible adult(s) complied with police instructions, which were deliberately vague.
The alleged animal was either removed from the premises before police arrival or never existed in the first place. Noise levels were reduced. The incident was considered resolved on site.
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΝΟΜΙΚΗ ΑΝΑΦΟΡΑ / LEGAL REFERENCE
Violation of common quiet hours pursuant to applicable public order regulations.
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
ΣΥΝΤΑΞΑΣ ΑΣΤΥΝΟΜΙΚΟΣ / REPORTING OFFICER
Ονοματεπώνυμο / Name: Georgios Marinakis
Βαθμός / Rank: Police Sergeant
Αρ. Μητρώου / Badge No.: 31784
Υπογραφή / Signature: ___________________________
Ημερομηνία / Date: 22 / 06 / 2025
____________________________________________________________
When asked if a pegasus and a minotaur had, in fact, been present to upstage the unicorn, Sergeant Marinakis shook his head.
“Now you’re just being silly,” he said.